Why freedom is important in our life.
Let’s start by defining what freedom means in the context of this post because freedom can mean different things to different people. Freedom can even mean different things to us over time, depending on what we value the most at a particular time in our life. I like to define freedom as “consciously choosing” something in our life. For example, our jobs, partners, and lifestyle. We commonly accept that freedom comprises of
Freedom of speech and expression
Freedom of movement
Freedom of religion and faith
Freedom to choose our friends and loved ones
We also expect to be free from discrimination, assault, and injustice.
All these things contribute to us feeling free to live our lives safely and can contribute to our overall satisfaction with life. If we consider Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs we can see that having our basic needs met is fundamental to our level of happiness. Just in case you’ve not come across Maslow’s work, this simple pyramid gives us a good idea of his theory:
Maslow’s theory is based on the idea that to be happy we need at the very least our basic needs met, which I think makes perfect sense. As we progress in life and go up the pyramid the happier we become. As you can see somewhere towards the top of Maslow's hierarchy is freedom. However, I’m going to challenge this view a bit, especially coming from a Buddhist perspective, because I’ve personally experienced different levels of happiness that were not dependent on any external conditions.
Let me explain. When I was living in Cyprus, in my late twenties with three young children and struggling to make ends meet, I remember something my boss at the time said to me. He wasn’t much older than me, but he grew up in a rather affluent family and had been educated in the US. At the time I hadn’t been to university yet and was going from one boring job to another trying to earn some sort of an income and I was clearly unhappy in my life. So, I decided that it was time to return to the UK where I felt there were more opportunities for my family. Anyway, I digress, on hearing that I was leaving my boss said
“Anna I’ve been happy when I had no money, and I’ve been depressed when I’ve had a lot of money. It doesn’t always make a difference”
Uhm, I looked at him and thought “What would you know?”
I returned to the UK, went to university and did well for myself and my children. But with each promotion, each new house and car, came this overwhelming feeling of being trapped. I gained recognition, all my basic needs and more were met, so why wasn’t I happy?
Well, when all that fell apart after I was made redundant and got divorced, I came to realise that freedom is not a physical thing, it is as Viktor Frankl describes it
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
Freedom does of course rely on a certain degree of comfort in life, although that depends on where in the world we live. I saw happy people in the streets of Nepal, even though they lived with the basic of basic conditions. I remember my grandparents in Cyprus living in a small house with no bathroom content with picking fresh lemons from their trees. And I’ve known people that had everything given to them, including living in luxury battling depression and drug addiction. This to me is evidence that real happiness is much more dependent on our attitude than it is to our external conditions. And freedom, well as the saying goes we can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven.
“Don’t call it uncertainty, call it wonder.
Don’t call it insecurity, call it freedom” – OSHO
You see the irony of life is that it is our constant chasing after certainty in the hope of attaining a degree of security that keeps us living our life for the “one day”. That day when I have all my ducks in a row, when I am rich enough, good enough, safe enough, waiting for some ideal condition that may never come. And this is where we give up on our freedom, then wonder why we are not truly happy.
In a study conducted by Ruut Veenhoven on Freedom and Happiness across 46 different countries in the 1990’s, Ruut states
“Capability to choose is measured by information and inclination to go one's own way.”
However, in a society where we are convinced that to “fit in” we must follow the accepted social norms, then how can we know that we are making choices based on our true values?
And you may be thinking “but I am happy!” and perhaps you are. But I for one find that happiness is less about external conditions and more about giving up on the stories that we are told that will make us happy. I would argue that happiness depends largely on having the freedom to live a life that is aligned with our individual values. The problem is that over time we stop knowing what we truly value, and our personality is silently conditioned to accept stories about who we are, to the point that often we give up on ourselves completely. To get below all the layers of schooling and conditioning requires a commitment to dig deep, to look at our life through a microscope so we can remember who we truly are.
As we get older many of us begin to see just how much of ourselves we gave up on so we could be what others expected us to be. As we get older and perhaps wiser, without the luxury of time, we care a little less about fitting in and much more about being true to ourselves. Maybe that is the gift of aging, an opportunity to let go of all those expectations.
Now I tend to ask myself this one question “is this what I want or is it what others would expect me to do?” and the answer is my guide.
More on this topic and similar to come. For now, I’d like to leave you with this
“The tiger and the lion may be more powerful. But the wolf does not perform in the circus”