Finding Freedom in Nobody-ness: A Journey of Self-Discovery

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Put a smile on my face!

I’ve just returned from a trip to Dublin, a city full of life, history, and vibrancy.

From the bustling streets to the rich cultural landscape, I had expected the visit to leave me feeling inspired and rejuvenated. But to my surprise, my return wasn’t marked by the sense of invigoration I had hoped for.

Instead, I found myself feeling exhausted, but with a deep and somewhat unexpected sense of clarity.

It’s strange how a place so full of energy can make you feel so reflective. I spent much of my trip in quiet contemplation, trying to understand why I didn’t feel the way I expected to. What I realised was that this trip wasn’t about escaping or finding excitement; it was about recognising something much deeper within myself—something that’s been brewing for some time now.

A Lifetime of Striving

You see, for most of my life, I’ve been on an almost relentless journey of striving.

Goal after goal, I’ve constantly pushed myself forward, always aiming for the next step, the next achievement, the next “big thing” that would somehow complete me.

Whether it was in my career, personal life, or even in my spiritual practices, I’ve often found myself in pursuit of what’s next. But no matter how much I achieved, there always seemed to be something missing.

It was as though no accomplishment, no milestone, ever quite felt like enough.

For years, I thought this was just the nature of ambition. We’re taught to set goals and pursue them with determination, to constantly work toward “success” as it’s traditionally defined by society.

But recently—whether it’s age catching up with me or the wisdom that comes from life’s inevitable ups and downs—I’ve started to feel something shift within me.

I began to question why I no longer had the same fire to push forward.

For a while, I worried that I had lost my zest for life. I didn’t feel the same drive for external success, and instead, I found myself yearning for something much simpler: peace, quiet, and a deeper sense of contentment.

Mingyur Rinpoche’s Wisdom

During this time of reflection, I came across a short verse from one of my Buddhist teachers, Mingyur Rinpoche, that spoke directly to what I was feeling.

The verse read:

"A common metaphor for the entire Buddhist path is swimming against the stream."

This phrase instantly caught my attention.

For years, I’ve felt like I’ve been swimming relentlessly against the current—fighting against the tide of life’s expectations, battling the external pressures to achieve, to accomplish, to “be somebody.”

The effort, at times, has been exhausting, leaving me wondering why I was struggling so hard, and what exactly I was trying to prove.

As I read further, Mingyur Rinpoche explained that part of the Buddhist path involves questioning, and even reversing, the social norms we’ve been conditioned to follow.

We learn to challenge the deeply ingrained beliefs that tell us we must always be moving forward, always striving for more.

He offered a suggestion that resonated deeply with me:

"To devote even one hour a day to becoming nobody, when we could be in the world becoming somebody, reverses socially rewarding goals."

This idea stopped me in my tracks.

We spend so much of our lives trying to become “somebody”—to be recognised, validated, and celebrated by the world.

But what if, instead of striving to be somebody, we allowed ourselves to simply be?

What if, for a moment, we let go of the pressure to achieve and embraced the peace of “nobody-ness”?

Ram Dass and the Journey to Nobody

This concept of becoming nobody also reminded me of Ram Dass, whose teachings have long guided my spiritual journey.

Ram Dass often spoke about letting go of the ego and the need for external validation.

He believed that the desire to be somebody—to be seen as important, successful, or significant—traps us in the illusion of separateness.

It keeps us constantly striving to define ourselves through our roles, our accomplishments, and the way others perceive us.

By embracing “nobody-ness,” as Ram Dass called it, we free ourselves from the chains of ego and self-importance.

Instead of measuring our worth by what we’ve achieved or how we’re seen by others, we connect more deeply with the world around us. We move beyond the limitations of our personal identity and experience life in a more open, expansive, and authentic way.

For Ram Dass, becoming nobody wasn’t about disappearing or becoming irrelevant.

It was about transcending the need to be defined by the external world.

It was about realising that our true self isn’t tied to our successes or failures, but to something much deeper:

our ability to be present, compassionate, and connected to the world around us.

Embracing Invisibility

As I reflect on my own journey, I’ve started to realise how much this concept applies to my life now.

At my age, I’ve often felt a sense of invisibility creeping in.

Society, especially for women of a certain age, can have a way of making you feel as though you’re fading into the background, no longer as visible or relevant as you once were.

But instead of seeing this as an insult, I’ve started to view it as a gift.

There’s a certain freedom in this invisibility—a chance to step away from the pressures of being “somebody,” and to fully embrace the quiet, simple joys of life.

I no longer feel the need to chase after external validation or prove my worth to anyone.

Instead, I’m learning to be content with just being.

As Ram Dass beautifully put it,

"When you become nobody, there’s a tremendous sense of freedom."

And that’s exactly what I’m beginning to experience—a liberation from the constant striving, the endless pursuit of “more,” and the need to be seen as somebody special.

In this space of nobody-ness, I’ve found a new sense of peace, clarity, and alignment with my true self.

Life, like my recent trip to Dublin, doesn’t always turn out as we expect.

But sometimes, it’s in these unexpected moments—when we stop fighting the current and simply let go—that we find our deepest insights.

I’m realising now that perhaps the greatest freedom of all comes not from becoming somebody, but from embracing the beauty of becoming nobody.